Fuel Your Fire

So I have this blog, and I love to write, and I want to become published…but I haven’t updated this thing since April. Yikes. I’ve dropped the ball big time. A writer is supposed to write, every day. Period.

Whoops.

Has that ever happened to you? You’ve gotten so busy, so consumed by life that it seems to have taken over and everything you love to do, whatever fuels your fire, seems to be pushed aside? It seems to be a problem for many. I know that it’s hard for me to immerse myself in those activities, those passions that drive me- reading, writing, walking, meditating, praying- because kids, work, odd jobs, responsibilities, #adulting takes priority. Which they need to take priority to a point. They’re important and essential.

But why is it so easy to not make time for the fuel to our fires? Why is it so easy to not prioritize my needs? Do you prioritize you? Truly?

2019 is still new and fresh. I’ve written posts before about my “Word of the Year” that guides me instead of making and breaking a resolution. For 2017, it was “fearless”. For 2018, it was “intentional”. For 2019, it’s “focus”. And I need to focus more.

For 2019, I’m going to focus. Focus on God and my relationship with Him. Focus on my family and their needs. And focus on what fuels my fire…focus on me. Because when I lose focus on me and what drives me, I lose focus on what matters. And everything can begin to crumble.

So it’s 2019. Maybe your word isn’t “focus”, or you don’t have a guiding word or resolution. But what can you do for you? It may sound selfish, but something I’ve learned lately is that one cannot pour from an empty cup. Think about what fuels your fire or what helps you get up and out of bed in the morning. And do more of that. I’m writing this for me as much as you because I need to recharge.

For 2019, I’m going to pray more, read more, write more, and always love more. And I’ll be thinking of and praying for you as you begin this new year. Stay tuned for more from me. 🙂

 

“Parents Rising” Book Review

I recently had the privilege of being a part of another book launch team, and wow, this book really made me think. I read Parents Rising: 8 Strategies for Raising Kids Who Love God, Respect Authority, and Value What’s Right by Arlene Pellicane. In this quick and practical read, Pellicane is calling parents to rise up again, and take their rightful place of authority in their home, as society is shifting and putting more emphasis on self-indulgence and gratification, and less emphasis on structure and respecting authority.

Being a mom with young children, I’m constantly filled with questions, concerns, and a whole lot of doubt when it comes to raising my children. I loved reading this book because it reminded me that I’m not alone in these struggles, that so many of us have experienced and are experiencing that insecurity every day. And with living in such a “media-driven” world, it’s easy to become distracted and complacent when it comes to being an authority in our homes, and how, especially today, God is left out of the equation and not at the center of our lives.

Pellicane gives practical and relevant strategies and advice when it comes to child-rearing, and her credibility shines through her writing; she’s right in the thick of it with us! She relates funny stories and examples from her own family as she presents each strategy, and backs up her information with sound evidence from credible sources.

I highly recommend this book! A great, quick read that will leave an impression on you and your loved ones. Visit ArlenePellicane.com to find out more. 

What’s Your Word 2018

It’s 2018. New Year, new trials and tribulations, new hopes and dreams, new opportunities for 365 days. We’re beginning again with a clean slate for all, and are waiting for the joy these anticipations can bring.

Many of us may be glad 2017 is gone forever, never to return. We put it to rest like David put Goliath down, and are grateful for this new year, eagerly hungering for what anxiously awaits us.

For those of you who have followed my writing, at the beginning of 2017, I wrote a post titled, “What’s Your Word?” (https://anclif12.wordpress.com/2017/06/06/whats-your-word/) and I shared that I’m not one for making New Year’s resolutions. I’ve tried in the past, and miserably failed, usually by February. Instead, I choose a focus word for the year, one that helps guide decisions I make, positively influence how I view, process, and respond to various situations, and drive me to make better my and my family’s lives. I’m thrilled to say that I knew my focus word for 2018 before it was even here!

The word I chose (or I should say, was given to me), was INTENTIONAL. Maybe not as awe-inspiring or electrifying as “fearless” in 2017, but nonetheless, this word has not been able to escape my attention. It has been EVERYWHERE, jumping out at me like jackrabbits hopped up on caffeine. I had thought, prayed, and reflected on this word as 2017 came to an end, and realized that this was definitely the word I needed guiding me as I entered 2018.

Distractions abound everyday, and we can easily drift by each day, missing important moments, memories, and feelings because of something trivial, meaningless, and vain. Being “fearless” in 2017, in a large way, led me to pursue what I call, writing for real. I went to that conference. I started that blog. I put a couple of pieces of writing out into cyberspace, hoping someone would read them…

And then distractions started to abound. Multiply. Grow. And I got a little off track.

My posts online became fewer and fewer. (“Oh, I’ll post something tomorrow. Tonight I’m tired”). My time writing and developing ideas became less and less. (“It was a long day with the kids and I’m exhausted. I couldn’t write anything good right now anyway”). My personal growth hasn’t stopped, but maybe has slowed. (“I’ll get to it tomorrow night”). Can you relate in your life? One excuse after another for why you haven’t finished a project? Reached that goal? Or stayed in your comfort zone?

I’m in the trenches with you my friend.

So that’s why intentional has been flashing before my eyes, constantly, yet again. (You think the Man upstairs is trying to drop some hints?) “Fearless” was great and pushed me beyond my comfort zone, but what good will it do, if I don’t actively take steps to pursue my calling that has been given to me? What good will it do for you if you don’t take those careful steps to pursue your true calling? What good will it do for my family if I’m not intentional with them? Intentionally putting down my phone and playing with my children longer or purposefully spending more time listening to my son tell his imaginative stories or intentionally spending extra time with my husband that we can tend to miss out on in the hustle and bustle of daily life. 

We have to be intentional. We have to make purposeful choices. We have to think through our decisions, actions and attitudes and take the steps necessary to fulfill and live a life worthy of this calling we have bestowed on us (Ephesians 4:1). Because if we don’t, it’s all for naught. It’s fruitless and futile. And we’ll be left wondering, “What if?” We’ll be left wondering what could have been had we tried just a bit harder, practiced a bit more, or took that one chance.

Intentional. Purposeful. Baby Steps.

Here’s to 2018, and to all of us, walking together through it.

 

“Making Room: Doing Less, So God Can Do More” Review

I had the honor and privilege of being a part of a book launch team for the upcoming book, “Making Room: Doing Less, So God Can Do More” by Billie Jauss. In this very timely piece, Jauss addresses something many of experience in our faith walk…connection to God. Sometimes, many of us will have great connection to God. But many times, many of us experience disconnection, and go through a “dry season” in our faith journey. What I love about Jauss’ book is that she is not afraid to address any of it, and gives a very honest account of her own faith journey, and the “dry seasons” she has faced.

Jauss is authentic and writes to you like she was talking to a friend. She asks tough questions to the reader, but is so relatable that you can tell in her writing that she herself has experienced these very struggles we may be going through in our own faith journey and with our connection to God. Jauss shares personal stories of how her connection with God wasn’t strong for awhile, but then how He began to work in her and change her. It made me reflect on my own faith journey, and how God is working in and changing me. On page 16 of her book, Jauss echoes what I think is running through many of our heads who may be in this situation:

“As I reflected on God’s desire to work in me, my mind was flooded by memories of when I thought I was in control. I was overwhelmed…My spirit ached for God’s presence. The knowledge of God’s ability, power, and desire, brought me to a realization. Our inner life-our heart’s alignment with the will of God-is of utmost importance”.

If you’ve ever felt confused on your own faith journey, disconnected from God, or simply want to shift your priorities in your own life, I highly recommend picking up a copy of “Making Room”. This is a book for anyone, and a great read. Loved it, and I know you will too 🙂

 

 

Embrace Change

Change is hard. It’s everywhere, all the time, and comes as a windfall all at once when we least expect it. We have to adapt, react, and “punt” in order to keep up with that change, and move on to the next endeavor that befalls us.

It can be overwhelming and leaves us wondering and pondering so many questions: “Why?” “How?” “What next?” “What do I do now?” We live in a world where change is a constant; it’s something that will never fail to produce. But when we get pulled into the undertow of change, we sometimes struggle to breathe. We can begin to suffocate if we don’t know where to turn, and really there is only one solution to help us understand, adapt, and react.

Only God.

He is our constant. He is unchanging. He is who we can count on no matter what comes our way. Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. We can rest in the fact that He will faithfully be at our sides, helping us through our struggles and change. But He never will change who He is and what He does. He loves us. He made us in His image. He had a plan for our salvation from the beginning. His love has no limits, and neither does His awesome power.  

So when the next transition, hurdle, or hiccup comes along, we can rest in Him and be still. He has us by the hand, and we can walk confidently in knowing that while the world may be completely different today than yesterday, He will never be.

When You Need to be Anchored

When we’re children, we are filled with hopes, dreams, and aspirations. Possibilities are endless, the world is limitless, and we can do anything we put our minds to.

Why, then, do we have such a hard time bringing these hopes, dreams, and aspirations to fruition as we grow older, and can realistically accomplish those things?

Life happens.

And it changes us.

Life can grow us, help us, harm us, affect us, strengthen us, build us, transform us. We can feel like we’re being tossed around aimlessly on the sea, bouncing, gasping for air, and possible drowning at times. When we do life like this, it can be overwhelming, messy, and just plain hard. And it’s through “doing life” that I’m learning to rely on the one constant I have, the One that keeps me anchored in the rough waters…the good Lord.

It’s taken me a long to time be able to get to the point where I can honestly write that above sentence, but I’m here and I’m a constant work in progress. And that is ok, and that is right.

I was honored and blessed to be a part of my first book launch team during these last couple of months. It was for a new Christian writer name Micah Maddox, and her book, Anchored In. What an experience it’s been being a part of a launch team, and being able to share with you her inspiring messages on social media and word of mouth.

Maddox is refreshingly honest and transparent in her story, which is something everyone, I believe, needs in their life. Her book shares deeply personal stories which are used to help and reach out to others who may be experiencing similar difficult situations and hardships. While reading her book, it was like talking to a trusted sister or girlfriend, one who you could cry on her shoulder, let her cry on yours, and then laugh together until your sides wanted to split.

Maddox gives proof of how she has God anchored in her own life, and He was the reason that she was able to overcome the various adversities she has faced. She explains how He is there to protect, guide, and love us all, and how by being anchored in Him, His love, and His presence, we can experience His true love and power in this life that likes to toss us in the waves of a stormy sea. She gives us hope and comfort, when we may need it most.

Anchored In is a very timely and refreshing read that is sure to touch your heart in more ways than one. Let me know what you think of it after you read it, and how you become anchored in His presence.

Embrace Change

Change is hard. It’s everywhere, all the time, and comes as a windfall all at once when we least expect it. We have to adapt, react, and “punt” in order to keep up with that change, and move on to the next endeavor that befalls us.

It can be overwhelming and leaves us wondering and pondering so many questions: “Why?” “How?” “What next?” “What do I do now?” We live in a world where change is a constant; it’s something that will never fail to produce. But when we get pulled into the undertow of change, we struggle to breathe. We can begin to suffocate if we don’t know where to turn, and really there is only one solution to help us understand, adapt, and react.

Only God.

He is our constant. He is unchanging. He is who we can count on no matter what comes our way. Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. We can rest in the fact that He will faithfully be at our sides, helping us through our struggles and change. But He never will change who He is and what He does. He loves us. He made us in His image. He had a plan for our salvation from the beginning. His love has no limits, and neither does His awesome power.  

So when the next transition, hurdle, or hiccup comes along, we can rest in Him and be still. He has us by the hand, and we can walk confidently in knowing that while the world may be completely different today than yesterday, He will never be.

The Power of Words

Image from the Jesus Bible

 

My husband teases me that I’m the eternal optimist. And overall, I try to think positively. I think people are born and generally good, there’s always a silver lining to issues happening to us, and most people have good intentions as we go about our days.

 

But life happens. It influences, changes, molds, shapes (add whatever verb you want here) us and our words and actions and thoughts and opinions come out on our sleeves and we make the choice to let “life” shape us in our decisions, attitudes, and thoughts. But what about how our thoughts, attitudes and words influence and affect others?

 

I’m currently reading the book of Job in my own personal Bible study time and it’s heartbreaking. So much YUCK happens to Job that I think could easily break anyone. I know it would for me! From losing his 10 children, all his assets and more in the span of a day, he is pushed to the brink. He is a faithful, devoted man of God, and he does nothing wrong. Only we are aware as we read that there is spiritual warfare going on, and Job is caught in the middle. Yet, he does not give in to the enemy’s tendencies, and he never curses God. That’s a strong person if you ask me!

I have not finished this study yet, but what caught my eye while reading today was how Job’s friends are speaking with him. They were good friends who were there to support him in this awful time and circumstance: “Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was” (Job 2:13 NIV). They sat with him saying nothing, until Job himself speaks for the first time. And then, the opinions, attitudes, and thoughts begin to flow from them.

 

What began as well-intentioned advice turned into judgment on their friend. I’m writing in very general terms here, but they had turned it back on Job and assumed that the reason for his suffering was all his fault. They had no idea what was going on in the spiritual realm, and were quick to assume Job’s guilt or immoral choices, which was not the case. I really began to think about this today, because I had wondered how many times I had been in those shoes…not of Job’s but of his friends.

We see a friend or loved one in need and hurting. We want to help. We think we know the whole situation and understand everything that is at stake. How easy it is for us to spout off well-meaning, but not always solicited advice. It’s so easy for us to have this “alternate” perspective when we’re not involved in the situation. We can tell them what to do, what they’re doing wrong, and how to fix it. Exactly. The first time.

 

I’m just as guilty of this as the next person. I want to help my friend, but sometimes I inadvertently get on my high horse to do it. Before I get on that high horse though, have I examined my own opinions, attitudes, thoughts, judgments, etc? Are my words actually helping and healing? Or are they hindering and unhelpful?

Jesus hits this on the head (as He always does!) in Matthew 7:3-5 NIV when he says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

 

Ouch…

Ouch again.

I think God’s nudging me today. I need to listen more, pontificate less. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason, right? Even if our intentions are for good, we need to stop and think before we speak. Examine our own actions, thoughts, attitudes, opinions and judgments before we mess around with others’. Our words are so influential and powerful on other people. Something we say can affect a person’s entire day, week, month…whether we know it or not. Whether we mean for it to do that or not! I think about Job and how he just needed friends to listen and although they meant well, they were rubbing salt really deep into his wounds. I don’t know how this book ends yet, but I am going to be more intentional in how I interact with others…my family, friends, coworkers, students, church family, etc. It’s a conscious effort to do so, and I need His help with it.

Love more, think more, listen more.

 

 

Love

Love.

According to Dictionary.com:

—noun
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
–verb
1. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for

A four-letter word for a simple concept. Love should be easy to practice, give, share, foster. This ability is within each and every one of us. But lately, that hasn’t been the case.

Our world is hurting. People are hurting. Every person on this planet has their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions on certain issues. And you know what? That’s what makes all of us Unique. Different. Worthy. Important. It’s ok to disagree with one another. But do it with respect. Do it in an informed fashion. Do it with love.

In the book of Matthew, the Pharisees tried to test Jesus and trip him up in his words. One asked him, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?” (Matthew 22:36 NIV). Jesus said to him, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).

We need to show and practice love. Love God. Love our family and friends. Love our neighbors, coworkers, adversaries. It’s not always easy. But it’s the right thing to do.

Dream a little dream…

I have been doing online Bible studies with Proverbs 31 Ministries now for about 2.5 years. We’re gearing up for our next one starting in September with the book, “She’s Still There” by Chrystal Evans Hurst. I’m so excited to begin this study, as it is about re-discovering who you are, because as we all know, life can take some crazy twists and turns, and we can lose who we are in the process.

One of the fabulous study leaders posed a pre-study question yesterday to think about and respond to get us in the right mindset for this book. She asked, “Has your life turned out the way you always imagined it would?” I read this question and paused for a split second. My answer?

No. Absolutely not.

But that is not a bad thing.

Here’s where I’m coming from. If you don’t know me that well, you need to know that I live on a working farm in the middle of nowhere. I’m very happily married to my husband of 7 years, and we’ve been together for a total of 9. We have cows, horses, goats, and a herd of barn cats that roam the property and who think they run the show (but in reality, our two children do). But this is not where I started. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. On average, we see about 2 stars at night because my house was so close to the city, the Chicago lights drown them out. It takes about 5 minutes to get to more than 5 choices for grocery stores (10 if there’s traffic), and there’s always movement somewhere.

I attended a big elementary school, an even larger junior high, and a HUGE high school. There was always something going on somewhere, and we were never lacking entertainment. I did everything I was supposed to do to get through high school: earn good grades, join a bunch of groups/clubs, maintain some sort of a social life, and get into college. And I was blessed. I got into a great school which I LOVED and made some amazing friends who I still hold dear today. Life was going according to my plan. (Notice I said, “MY”).

The plan was to graduate Illinois State University with a degree in English Secondary Education (which I did). I’d move back home, find a job, get my feet wet, and move out to make my own living. I’d find a great place to live in the ‘burbs and continue that suburban-style living that I’d been used to, at that point, for 22 years. I’d keep in touch with my friends from high school and college, spend my weekends out in the city enjoying my freedom, and everything would be hunky-dory.

But God had other plans (And for the record, I’m so glad he did!)

Upon graduation, I feverishly began to apply for jobs. I lived back at home, and knew I could stay there as long as I wanted. I knew I needed to start making money to contribute and pay bills, and I knew I needed that health insurance from a good school district. So I applied. And applied. And applied some more. I figured calls for interviews would start coming in quickly.

Yeah, not so much. After I applied to over 40 different districts (you read that right, districts. Not individual schools), I was starting to get discouraged. But about halfway through the summer of 2008, I FINALLY got the call to interview at the school I’m at now! I was elated. They interviewed me to teach high school English, but they really wanted me to teach high school Spanish (um, what? I didn’t know right away that I had the creds to teach middle school Spanish). So I interviewed. They offered me a job then and there for the Spanish position and…I turned it down. Pretty bold on my part. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable being a first-year teacher in a subject I wasn’t comfortable with, and that I’d hold out for the English position.

I didn’t get that English position. They had hired another person to teach it, and that was that. Here’s where God always has the final say in things. The person they hired accepted a different position elsewhere later that summer, and they called me back. I had a job! That definitely was divinely orchestrated. But this would involved a big move into a new town where I knew just a couple of people…a huge leap of faith.

One of my favorite verses in scripture is Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): “‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'”. Yep, He had those plans figured out already, long before I was ever born.

My husband and I had been dating for a short time when I accepted the job. My mom likes to joke with me that I moved so far away from her for a boy. My husband is one of the biggest blessings I have in my life, but at that stage in the game, I was thinking of health insurance and a paycheck. So picked up everything, moved my life again, and went from a busy, suburban-lifestyle, to living in quiet, slower farm life.

This was a huge culture shock for me. And even as I’m about to begin my 10th year of teaching, it still is from time to time. I have learned so many things living in small towns and on a farm (like what a hog nipple is, how to move cows, and that the county fair is the highlight of the summer), that I couldn’t express them all in this single post. But the biggest lesson I’ve gleaned from all of this is that God has those plans set to prosper us and design our futures. And He wants us to dream and set goals and reach for them as far as we can. We just need to be open to His plans as we do life everyday.

I wouldn’t change a thing of where I’m at right now (okay, maybe to have a shorter drive to Target and be able to get Chicago-style pizza). I’m not saying everyday is “sunshine and roses” and incredibly easy. It’s not. It can be hard. I miss home and my family and my friends. I’ll be honest, I miss what used to be my comfort zone. But there’s so much I’d miss out on had I not been set on the path in this direction. This is where I’m supposed to be.

So, has my life turned out the way I imagined it would?

No. Absolutely not.

How about you?